dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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