the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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