yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
