4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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