you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
