You're my little dorito
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
