Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
honey bunches of taint.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
