We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
wow bdsm is so cute
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