You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
