I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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