I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
