Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
