Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
