I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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