i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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