i just wanna soil my oats bro
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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