yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize