His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
