I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize