I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize