I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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