just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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