you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
