Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it's like iHOP with fire
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
