Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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