I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
