did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
tell me about the fingering
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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