Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And then he peed in my hair
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
