your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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