my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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