he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
