Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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