erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
