I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize