in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
