youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
