im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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