I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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