Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
