just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
