Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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