Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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