people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize