you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
