the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
