I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize