Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.

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(325): View more from Texas

I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka

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(208): View more from Idaho

I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.

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(917): View more from New York City

Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.

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(954): View more from Florida

damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.

Fav 6 2126 681
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(518): View more from New York

I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.

Fav 3 897 519
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.

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