I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
