worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
and you fell through a lawn chair
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
