Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
