i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize