Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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