I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
