I think i peed on brittanys purse
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
