In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
