gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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