Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize