so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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