office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
