They should really pass out barf bags in church
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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