Dual....:-)
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
